I just came across this ... intriguing (absurd, sad and almost unbelievable) story in my newsreader* about a young BC man who was just minding his own business, walking to the mailbox, wearing a hoodie and blaring music through his earphones, when he was suddenly and tragically struck, dragged and killed by ... a crashing helicopter. 




Yes, you read that correctly, this poor pedestrian was evidently so enthralled with his music and mail that he didn't hear (or see) a three-ton aircraft plunge to the earth and probably flail around uncontrollably (sorry, I had to) as it slid towards and ultimately over top of him.


As absurd as this story is, it is obviously still quite sad, but the most incongruous part of the Globe article, to me anyway, is the angle the reporter takes, which concentrates on the renewed controversy sparked by this event over the use of loud headphones on or near roads. 


Now I certainly agree that it is just common sense to make sure you can hear when you are going to be near moving vehicles, but let's be serious here, this kid was not hit by a city bus, it was a lightweight aircraft, keyword being air, where it ought to have stayed. 


I mean, the thing could just as easily have plummeted through the skylight in his living room while he was blaring that Nine Inch Nails album over his integrated BOSE sound system. Would the anti-loud music lobby have made a fuss then? (And supplemental question - Is there really an anti-loud music lobby?)



In related news, a Vermont man was struck and killed by an asteroid while jaywalking. Safe road-crossing advocates say he had it coming.










*A far cry from my j-school days, when I consumed a couple local and national newspapers per day, I now apparently get my dose of the Globe and Mail from... American gadget blog Gizmodo? Ah well.



















As far as I am concerned, there are few things in life better than a clever pun. Some may call it cheesy humour (especially the above cartoon, which I came across here) and some may groan in disgust at the best plays on words, but for me, the mixture of intelligence and wit that produces a truly good pun simply can't be beaten.




And so it is with great excitement that I introduce to you a new weekly segment on Smithereens: Wordplay Wednesdays (well it was either that or Monday Pun Day...) Be sure to tune in every humpday to read the best examples of humourous word wizardry that I can track down. 


Or if you're a party pooper who calls all puns "bad jokes" (the irreverence!), then you may want to just ignore my blog midweek. 


WORDPLAY WEDNESDAY NUMBER 1


The best puns, in my opinion, are the spur-of-the-moment clever quips that take advantage of real life circumstances and consider the context in which they are  being spoken. By definition these can't be forced or overdone - they are just the right words, said at the right time, in the right tone of voice. 


To demonstrate what I mean; I personally received the perfect setup for a context-relevant zinger just a week or so ago. At a meeting of the Young Construction Executives Club (a subcommittee of the Ottawa Construction Association), we were discussing a possible volunteering opportunity for our members with the local Habitat for Humanity Chapter




"They are going to be holding a Women's Build this summer," the chairman said, "and will require a few industry professionals on each site to show the volunteers how to do things like install drywall."


"So what you're saying," I replied, "Is that they are on the lookout for strapping young men?"



Now if you knew that nailing a piece of wood across two studs to support a drywall slab is called "strapping", you would hopefully appreciate the double entendre, and given the context of that meeting, everyone in the room did. 


Of course, if you didn't know that, or if you simply hate puns, you probably just rolled your eyes so far back into your head that they may be gone for good. (And if it's the latter, I have to ask, why are you still reading... a sucker for pun-ishment?)


Of course, not every good pun is blurted out in real-time (and many bad ones are!), there are many clever lines that people presumably just thought of and wrote down, and then told someone who liked it, who told someone else... and so on and so forth until they trickled down to the lowly writer of Smithereens. 


So I guess today is a Bonus Wordplay Wednesday, because I'm going to give you a second pun (well, fourth really, if you count the mice and the sucker-punch.)It is one of the latter types and is probably my favourite of all time. I don't know who made it up or where I first read it, but whoever did should be given a Medal of Honour for Brave Wit.




A writer hears about a contest to find the Best Pun in the World. He really wanted to win, so he painfully crafted not just one, but ten separate puns, and submitted them all to increase his odds. He thought for sure that with so many entries, at least one of his would win, but alas, in the end, no pun in ten did.  (Cue rimshot)



What about you - Think you've got  a better groaner than that? Well let me know in the comments! The best submission (ie: the one that makes me laugh the hardest) will make it into next week's segment. Until then!  






























If you are at all interested in environmentally-friendly building and sustainable design, or if you enjoyed my previous piece on "Greenwashing", you may be interested in reading the latest post over on my Tracking Construction Trends blog. 


Here is a brief excerpt:






No, you haven't stumbled across Treehugger.com accidentally (though if you haven't been there before, you should check it out.)  And no, this blog isn't strictly about green building, but it is about tracking trends in the construction sector, and as I pointed in my first post here, no conversation looms larger in our industry right now than this one.







This afternoon, I had the pleasure of attending a tour of the Minto Eco-Home in Manotick  (about a 15 minute drive south of Ottawa)...